Sometimes the definition of a French illness is completely different to an English one. I work in a creche and it never ceases to amaze me how opposite our attitudes to unwell children are. After taking a child's temperature last week, he was declared to be "Tres, tres malade." I was impressed by the double 'tres' and inquired why and was told he was 39.6C. He had been given paracetamol and his mother called. (Fortunately for him she came quickly and did not say she was on her way and then arrive 2 hours later, unlike some parents.) On this scale a "Tres malade" works out around 38.6 - 39.0 and just a "Malade" is between 38.0 and 38.5. Anything less is dismissed with a wave of the hand, a 'puff' noise and a "C'est normal"
Sometimes there are children who are ill, but we have to keep them at the creche as they donot have a temperature. They can have a "Gastro" and the runs but still not sent home. Fortunately vomiting is pretty dramatic and they will get sent home. Conjunctivitis, only one day's treatment is necessary before they can return (and infect everyone else). Forget teething gel, just ensure the child wears an amber necklace instead.
It is all so very, very different. However... once you have sussed the differences you can use them to your advantage! One time I had a heavy cold that was threatening to develop into a chest and ear infection and was due to fly back to the UK the next day for a wedding. I called the doctor - he was very busy, was this an emergency? Technically this wasn't, I thought very quickly and said that I had a "Une fievre." I was immediately given appointment for two hours later!